Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Coming Home

...I'm back in Phoenix.  I arrived here Sunday night, after a weekend that was way too long and dramatic for my own taste.  I expect a little confrontation once in a while- that is life.  However, Friday night was ridiculous, and it ended my experience in Colorado swiftly. 

Alisha decided she wanted to go out Friday night, because we had been stuck in her apartment all week.  Her brother offered to be our DD so we could go out and have some fun, and she figured M would probably want to stay home, like he did usually.  Wrong.  He convinced her to pick him up first, from work, then he would go with us.  Right off the bat, he got in the car and started saying how he was too tired and he would take us Saturday night.  Alisha told him that if he was too tired he should just drive home and her brother would use his car.  He said no, and proceeded to come with us, but was a complete jerk the entire time.  He made snide comments to both of us (we had a few drinks before leaving, to save us some money at the bar) and kept repeating how he couldn't believe we were drinking already- it was after ten. 

Once at the bar, he stayed out of our hair for a little while.  Alisha and I had fun talking and laughing, and we took silly pictures and it was good.  Then we left and decided to go to a dance club down the way.  I haven't been dancing in forever and was all in.  That was when all of the drama started.

We were all sitting at the bar, waiting for our drinks (I limited myself to six drinks that night- and it was quite enough), when M turned to me and said, "You should just go kill yourself."  Out of nowhere.  I hadn't said anything to him all night, barely even looked at him, and he said this.  I rolled my eyes at him, got my drink, and dragged Alisha out onto the floor.  She was completely hammered, so there was no point in telling her anything.  She wasn't going to remember. 

After that it was all downhill.  He repeatedly tried to start fights on the dance floor with guys that were dancing around us, even though I made sure they left her alone.  If he would have just danced with her it wouldn't have been a problem, but hello- two cute girls on the floor alone?  Of course guys are going to try to dance with us!  He made it into a big deal, and a bouncer eventually had to drag M off of the floor.  The night was already ruined, though. 

At two, the club shut down and we left, and I stayed next to Alisha's brother B the whole time, behind her and M so I wouldn't have to listen to him.  I tried to stay in a good mood, and just talked to B, but once we started towards the car, it was very apparent that M had it out for me.  He started calling me a slut, and saying that I was just a fat bitch, and a bunch of other things I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say in public, with a bunch of people around.  Alisha started walking really fast to get away from him, and I ran to catch up with her, but M grabbed my arm and flung me backwards onto the sidewalk.

Yep, he had the nerve to do that.  He then grabbed Alisha and dragged her across the road, on her knees, because she had fallen off the sidewalk when he jerked her arm.  He was out of line and out of control.  I ended up calling the police, and because poor B didn't want to be in the middle, he actually drove off with them in the car, instead of waiting for the police.  Therefore, I was left in downtown Denver in the freezing cold for almost two hours, while the police tried to track them down to arrest M for assault, and I had Chris texting and calling me, freaking out.  For some reason, unknown to me, the police couldn't find the car, even though B stayed in Denver, because he wasn't going to leave me.  So they didn't get to talk to any of us while we were there.

Chris was pissed and called the police on his own.  He gave them their address, and when we arrived at the apartment an hour later (4 AM), they were waiting.  I jumped out of the car and met them as they were walking down the stairs from the apartment.  I told them everything that happened, and the other three stayed in the car. 

Alisha denied that he did anything to either of us.  B told them he didn't want to be involved and that M was very drunk and didn't know what he was doing.  I didn't care.  Eventually, because no one other than myself would say anything, the police left, after giving M a warning.  Like that was going to do anything.  Five minutes after they left, I was in my room, door locked, and guess what?  He was banging away on it, threatening to kill me and calling me every name in the book.  I hadn't done a thing to him all night.  I didn't say one word.  I ended up calling the police, again, and it turns out they didn't believe anyone else so they had stayed in the vicinity.  They showed up five minutes later, while M was still yelling at screaming, and the operator heard everything as well, because she told me to stay on the phone with her until they got there.  Because the police couldn't see any marks on me (um, hello, it takes longer than an hour for bruises to appear), they couldn't arrest him, but they told him to leave the premises for the night. 

Chris bought my bus ticket home, and the next day Alisha drove me back to Denver to leave.  She didn't say anything about the night before, and I know she was upset and confused about everything, but she acted so distant from me, like it was my fault for what happened, that I couldn't help but be mad at her.  I didn't have anything to say.  My arm hurt, my tailbone hurt, and I was tired and stressed out, and couldn't wait to leave.  Before we left the apartment, M came back and started the yelling and name calling all over again, for no reason, and this time there wasn't the excuse of "he's just drunk". 

I got home Sunday night at about 8, and Chris has been...wonderful.  Literally.  He has been nothing but sweet and funny, and I know it is still too early to tell, but things seem different.  We are moving into a different apartment in two weeks, and have started packing the small stuff up so we can do so quickly.  He got a promotion at work, and a raise, so he doesn't seem so stressed out.  I don't know- maybe the 11 days I was gone wasn't enough to change him, but I think it was enough to make him realize a few things. 

Alisha's mom called me Sunday night to ask me what the deal with.  I've always liked her- she was a second mom to me when we all lived in Michigan.  She knew there was bullshit in the stories everyone else was telling, and wanted me to tell her everything.  And I did.  I feel bad because Alisha didn't want her mom to know everything, because she doesn't feel like it's her mom's business, but- IT IS.  She is her MOTHER, and she has every right to know what M is doing to her.  I guess her mom knows the problem, though, because something happened on a camping trip last summer and M ended up dragging Alisha out of their camper by her hair, and her mom stepped up and threatened to kill him.  Since then, M and Alisha don't visit her parents, which is sad, because they are nothing but supportive. 

Anyhow, she asked me to take pictures of the bruises (which now cover almost my entire right upper arm and lower back) and she wants me to send them to her.  I could press charges, and it would be enough for M to be sent away for a bit.  I didn't want to do it at first- Alisha is so adamnent about not wanting to get him in trouble.  But if this is the only way for him to get help, I will do it.  I can't even begin to describe how it made me feel that whole time, either.  She is so blind she cannot see what it is doing to her family, and now her friends.  When it starts to have an effect on other people, it becomes a bigger problem than just a little fighting at home.

I don't know what I'm going to do, yet.  Right now I'm trying to catch up on sleep and get over the emotional wear and tear the 10 days there did to me.  I'm just hoping that I'll just know what to do when the right thing hits me.