I Laugh When You Get Hurt

My ex and I had a lot of fun together for three years.  It was a good time, most of the time, despite the fact that I would really like to wring his neck these days.  We went to concerts all the time, never failed to have the best parties at our house, and we found creative things to do when we were broke.  Some days I wonder why it all fell apart- but that's for a different day. 

I was 19 years old, he was 20, and we had just moved into our first place together.  We had his brother visiting for the weekend, and he was an avid skateboarder.  He wasn't awesome or anything, but he brought his skateboard everywhere and was one of those kids you always see in parking lots, trying to pull off tricks.  He brought his skateboard with him when we went grocery shopping, and on the way back, had a brilliant plan.  He wanted me to pull him behind my car.

I laughed and said no way.  I didn't want him to get hurt under my watch.  His mom would kill me, for one, and not my ex.  I didn't need the drama.  So my ex said he would drive while his brother skated behind us.  I was practically chewing my fingernails off in nervousness because I didn't want to spend the night in the hospital because his brother had bashed open his head while pulling some stupid stunt.

Thankfully, he was a good enough skater that he didn't fall.  It doesn't seem very fast to most of us, but being pulled five miles an hour behind a car on a skateboard is pretty damn fast.  And he did it.  He said it was a lot harder than movies make it look (um, duh?).  My ex, who was over 6 feet tall and had no coordination whatsoever, said he wanted to try it.  In my mind I was thinking, "Yeah, okay, I know this won't work."  But I just shook my head and said, "Fine, but I'm driving."  The deal was, he would hit the car if he wanted to go faster, and scream if he wanted us to stop (the windows were rolled down).  Have you ever seen that movie with John Candy and Dan Akroyd, when they take their families camping, and John Candy wants to teach his son to water ski, but it fails when he's the one getting pulled suddenly behind the boat?  It was similar to this.

I started off going slow, and watched the rearview mirror to make sure he wasn't falling or anything.  We we the only house on this backstreet, so I wasn't worried about cars coming, but I was worried about his gangly ass breaking his neck.  He tapped the trunk of the car, so I went a little faster.  Almost five miles an hour.  He then hit the trunk again, and I checked to make sure he was serious.  He was.  He gave me a thumbs up, with his big goofy smile on his face.  I sped up.  Seven to eight miles an hour, and he was still holding on.  I was laughing by this time, because seriously- who would have thought he'd last?

I checked in the rearview mirror, and suddenly, he was gone.  The sideview mirror revealed the most horrifying hilarious image ever- my ex was bouncing down the side of the road.  I could see him trying to stop himself, but it wasn't working.  His limbs were this way and that, and he looked like a ragdoll.  The skateboard flew underneath my car and out the front, and I stopped quickly and jumped out.  He was lying in the gravel, moaning and groaning.  "I hit a rock," he mumbled.

I made sure he was okay, and he was.  He managed to tuck and roll without hitting his head.  By this time, I was hysterical with laughter.  The image of him bouncing down the road was too much.  He got in the car and we drove home to survey the damage.  He was really lucky, but still had some nasty injuries.  His entire left side had road rash, along with his elbows and shoulders.  Because there was gravel imbedded in the wounds, I told him he'd have to clean them out before I bandaged them up.  He did not, under any circumstances, want me to pour peroxide on them.  I managed to trick him, and he nearly cried- but I laughed.  For some reason, when people get hurt, it's hilarious to me if they are not seriously injured.  I can't help but giggle when I see someone fall.  And, I do laugh when I fall, as well.  Just so you know. 

Does anyone else have this problem?