How Is A Girl Supposed To Live?

I've been working for the same store for approximately six months. I originally applied at the location near me, only to be asked to work twenty miles away, in a different position than what I applied for. They also didn't meet my minimum salary request. I took the job in spite of these things, because I was told I would be able to transfer closer after 90 days.

I put in my request a few weeks before my 90 days so that I'd get transfered as soon as possible. Using the bus system made it hard for me to get rides home when we closed and to work on time when I opened the store. My manager kept reassuring me I'd be transfered. Finally, I started at the store closest to me three days ago.

They cut my hours in half and pay me almost a whole dollar less than what I was making.

This brings me to my topic: In this economy, how is a single girl supposed to survive on an almost minimum wage job with part-time employment? One of the requirements is that I have an open schedule and that I have no outside employment that is a conflict of interest. I had an interview at another retail location, but it also was only part-time, and I could not work there because my current employer also sells music. Although they are two completely different types of retail stores, they made me choose.

This happens with most employers. It is, in fact, called a conflict of interest when a person works for two separate companies that sell similar items. I completely understand why this is in place in contract with most employers. They don't want one employee working with another competing company, say Barnes and Noble vs. Borders. That would be reasonable.

However, that is not the case. The company I work for is a clothing retail store. We mainly sell current fashion trends and pop culture items. We also carry a limited amount of CDs. I'm talking, one hundred to two hundred titles, at most. I applied at Best Buy, which is known for electronics and home appliances, but they also carry CDs. Therefore, I wasn't able to take the job.

Because most of my working experience has been in clothing retail, it is where I prefer to stay. I do love the company I work for, for the most part, but how do they expect their employees who are past high school levels and working on their degrees to live if they are cutting our hours and pay because we ask very little of them? I was transfered to one of the largest stores in the chain, yet they can't afford to give me more than ten hours a week, plus they cut my pay. They also demoted me. It's almost as if the corporate world stands to punish the people that want to push ahead.

Currently I am behind on my electric bill and will not make all of rent. My cable will be getting turned off, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I have applied at close to fifty different places in the last week, literally, and have not received one callback. I'm beginning to become desperate. It makes me wonder how people with families to feed are making it. It also makes me wonder how we are expected to live if there are all of these conflicts within employment but no one will hire full-time. The reason behind this is so that the company doesn't have to pay for insurance for the employee, because only full-time employees are granted opportunity for insurance. So most places hire for under 32 hours a week, just to get around having to pay for insurance.

It seems like a crummy way to run businesses. I wonder what would happen if employees started outing their employers for the scum bags they really are. What would happen? Is it fair to stop employees from getting second jobs because of a conflict of interest? Is it right to withhold full-time employment to avoid having to pay for insurance?

How is everyone else surviving these days?

In Time

It came to my attention that whenever I switch pedals in life, my dreams start featuring my least favorite character:

My ex.

No matter what is going on with my life at the time, for some reason, my brain is triggered and brings him up in my dreams, whether in the leading role or as an extra. I'm not sure why this is, except that I'm stressed, and he was always a source of frustration in my life when we were together.

I'm sure there are other people that have certain things that come up in dreams frequently that wish didn't: the mother-in-law (might as well be Freddy Krueger), that bad speech we gave in high school (sans clothes), or the wolf that attacks all their children. I don't have a mother-in-law, I never gave a bad speech, and I don't have children (although I have had dreams about being attacked by wolves). The only thing, apparently, that truly brings me a great amount of stress is my ex showing back up in my life. I suppose this is natural.

Especially when the only time I was ever able to get my life together was WITHOUT him in my life.

The sequence of the dreams usually follows the same outline: I'm doing something normal, I'm with a group of people, then suddenly he comes barging in to bring up the past. Maybe this means I need closure. I never really had that with him. We were together three years, then on and off again for another year after that, and then suddenly, I never heard from him again. That was it. There was no "going our separate ways" speech or that teary good-bye that breaks your heart still, years later.

When my life starts to spiral out of control, I think it (my brain) is reminded of when I was with him and how out of control it was then. From there on, it reminds me of him every time I think about it. Maybe it is telling me, "Get your shit together before you end up like that mess you were then." Or maybe I'm still subconsciously yearning for the closure I never had with him.

Does anyone else have these sorts of dreams?