Coming Home

...I'm back in Phoenix.  I arrived here Sunday night, after a weekend that was way too long and dramatic for my own taste.  I expect a little confrontation once in a while- that is life.  However, Friday night was ridiculous, and it ended my experience in Colorado swiftly. 

Alisha decided she wanted to go out Friday night, because we had been stuck in her apartment all week.  Her brother offered to be our DD so we could go out and have some fun, and she figured M would probably want to stay home, like he did usually.  Wrong.  He convinced her to pick him up first, from work, then he would go with us.  Right off the bat, he got in the car and started saying how he was too tired and he would take us Saturday night.  Alisha told him that if he was too tired he should just drive home and her brother would use his car.  He said no, and proceeded to come with us, but was a complete jerk the entire time.  He made snide comments to both of us (we had a few drinks before leaving, to save us some money at the bar) and kept repeating how he couldn't believe we were drinking already- it was after ten. 

Once at the bar, he stayed out of our hair for a little while.  Alisha and I had fun talking and laughing, and we took silly pictures and it was good.  Then we left and decided to go to a dance club down the way.  I haven't been dancing in forever and was all in.  That was when all of the drama started.

We were all sitting at the bar, waiting for our drinks (I limited myself to six drinks that night- and it was quite enough), when M turned to me and said, "You should just go kill yourself."  Out of nowhere.  I hadn't said anything to him all night, barely even looked at him, and he said this.  I rolled my eyes at him, got my drink, and dragged Alisha out onto the floor.  She was completely hammered, so there was no point in telling her anything.  She wasn't going to remember. 

After that it was all downhill.  He repeatedly tried to start fights on the dance floor with guys that were dancing around us, even though I made sure they left her alone.  If he would have just danced with her it wouldn't have been a problem, but hello- two cute girls on the floor alone?  Of course guys are going to try to dance with us!  He made it into a big deal, and a bouncer eventually had to drag M off of the floor.  The night was already ruined, though. 

At two, the club shut down and we left, and I stayed next to Alisha's brother B the whole time, behind her and M so I wouldn't have to listen to him.  I tried to stay in a good mood, and just talked to B, but once we started towards the car, it was very apparent that M had it out for me.  He started calling me a slut, and saying that I was just a fat bitch, and a bunch of other things I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say in public, with a bunch of people around.  Alisha started walking really fast to get away from him, and I ran to catch up with her, but M grabbed my arm and flung me backwards onto the sidewalk.

Yep, he had the nerve to do that.  He then grabbed Alisha and dragged her across the road, on her knees, because she had fallen off the sidewalk when he jerked her arm.  He was out of line and out of control.  I ended up calling the police, and because poor B didn't want to be in the middle, he actually drove off with them in the car, instead of waiting for the police.  Therefore, I was left in downtown Denver in the freezing cold for almost two hours, while the police tried to track them down to arrest M for assault, and I had Chris texting and calling me, freaking out.  For some reason, unknown to me, the police couldn't find the car, even though B stayed in Denver, because he wasn't going to leave me.  So they didn't get to talk to any of us while we were there.

Chris was pissed and called the police on his own.  He gave them their address, and when we arrived at the apartment an hour later (4 AM), they were waiting.  I jumped out of the car and met them as they were walking down the stairs from the apartment.  I told them everything that happened, and the other three stayed in the car. 

Alisha denied that he did anything to either of us.  B told them he didn't want to be involved and that M was very drunk and didn't know what he was doing.  I didn't care.  Eventually, because no one other than myself would say anything, the police left, after giving M a warning.  Like that was going to do anything.  Five minutes after they left, I was in my room, door locked, and guess what?  He was banging away on it, threatening to kill me and calling me every name in the book.  I hadn't done a thing to him all night.  I didn't say one word.  I ended up calling the police, again, and it turns out they didn't believe anyone else so they had stayed in the vicinity.  They showed up five minutes later, while M was still yelling at screaming, and the operator heard everything as well, because she told me to stay on the phone with her until they got there.  Because the police couldn't see any marks on me (um, hello, it takes longer than an hour for bruises to appear), they couldn't arrest him, but they told him to leave the premises for the night. 

Chris bought my bus ticket home, and the next day Alisha drove me back to Denver to leave.  She didn't say anything about the night before, and I know she was upset and confused about everything, but she acted so distant from me, like it was my fault for what happened, that I couldn't help but be mad at her.  I didn't have anything to say.  My arm hurt, my tailbone hurt, and I was tired and stressed out, and couldn't wait to leave.  Before we left the apartment, M came back and started the yelling and name calling all over again, for no reason, and this time there wasn't the excuse of "he's just drunk". 

I got home Sunday night at about 8, and Chris has been...wonderful.  Literally.  He has been nothing but sweet and funny, and I know it is still too early to tell, but things seem different.  We are moving into a different apartment in two weeks, and have started packing the small stuff up so we can do so quickly.  He got a promotion at work, and a raise, so he doesn't seem so stressed out.  I don't know- maybe the 11 days I was gone wasn't enough to change him, but I think it was enough to make him realize a few things. 

Alisha's mom called me Sunday night to ask me what the deal with.  I've always liked her- she was a second mom to me when we all lived in Michigan.  She knew there was bullshit in the stories everyone else was telling, and wanted me to tell her everything.  And I did.  I feel bad because Alisha didn't want her mom to know everything, because she doesn't feel like it's her mom's business, but- IT IS.  She is her MOTHER, and she has every right to know what M is doing to her.  I guess her mom knows the problem, though, because something happened on a camping trip last summer and M ended up dragging Alisha out of their camper by her hair, and her mom stepped up and threatened to kill him.  Since then, M and Alisha don't visit her parents, which is sad, because they are nothing but supportive. 

Anyhow, she asked me to take pictures of the bruises (which now cover almost my entire right upper arm and lower back) and she wants me to send them to her.  I could press charges, and it would be enough for M to be sent away for a bit.  I didn't want to do it at first- Alisha is so adamnent about not wanting to get him in trouble.  But if this is the only way for him to get help, I will do it.  I can't even begin to describe how it made me feel that whole time, either.  She is so blind she cannot see what it is doing to her family, and now her friends.  When it starts to have an effect on other people, it becomes a bigger problem than just a little fighting at home.

I don't know what I'm going to do, yet.  Right now I'm trying to catch up on sleep and get over the emotional wear and tear the 10 days there did to me.  I'm just hoping that I'll just know what to do when the right thing hits me. 

Reasoning

After an exhausting day of walking, talking, and cheering at a hockey game, I am finally home, and ready to sleep.  Alisha had the day off from work, so we decided to go to her brother's hockey game tonight, and it was quite exciting.  I haven't been to a hockey game in a long time, and forgot how fun they are.  But, onto the second part of my previous post.

As I told you yesterday, there are difficulties within the marriage of my friend Alisha and her husband, M. They have been married almost four years, and the last two years have been a struggle because he as terrible PTSD from being in the war in Iraq.  He has refused therapy, and also started drinking heavily.  It is not only sad, but extremely frightening for her.  Unfortunately, I didn't learn the entire situation until I was already here, and far from a home I could go to. 

After their fight last night, M passed out and Alisha slept on the couch.  We had discussed what she wanted to do, but was afraid she wouldn't have the guts to leave him.  I knew even before we had the talk that I would not be staying any longer than I would have to, because I will not put myself in the middle of a dangerous situation.  However, during our talk, I offered her to come with me.  I'm going to steer away from this topic for a moment to tie in the second part.

Chris and I haven't spoken a whole lot since I left.  We've texted a little, but most of it has been unimportant and nothing to do with us.  A few nights ago, though, he told me that I could believe it or not, but he did miss me, and love me.  Of course, I already knew he loved me.  That was never the problem.  The problem was how immature he was acting and hurting our relationship by neglecting me and my feelings.  It was a struggle for a over a month before he decided to end it because I was too much to deal with when all he wanted to do was have fun and be with so-called friends instead of being respectful to me.  I took it as it was, even if it was hard, and came out here.  It has been rough for me.  I miss him terribly, and it's been hard not to tell him that everyday, and dwell on it myself. 

After he told me that he missed me and loved me, he said the same thing he has been saying: "I just need time to myself to gather my thoughts."  Instead of just telling me he needed a little space, he ended it, and let me move a thousand miles away.  Apparently this isn't what he wanted, but he didn't want to tell me he didn't want me to move, because it was my decision and he didn't know how long it would take him to get his shit together.  We started talking about what we wanted through text, and suddenly, he tells me that he loves me and he just wants to start over with me, and rebuild what we had.  And I asked, "What has suddenly changed?"  He answers, "Not really anything.  As I said it's not you, it's me.  I just need to get over the fact that life needs to move on."  Meaning, from what he is doing right now.  He then tells me that he wants to stay in Phoenix, but he doesn't want to live in an apartment (which has been one of my big arguments with him about why I don't want to live there) forever, and that he wants a life.  He says if once the lease is up on our apartment, and I still want to leave, that we can leave together.  He added something else to the whole speech but it's a little too out there to say here, but it started with, "I know I want to be with you," then something about until certain body parts of mine are no longer where they are supposed to be.  Ha ha. 

...It is a lot for me to take it.  After all, it wasn't long ago he was telling me he just didn't feel the same anymore and all this other crap.  Apparently he didn't know what he wanted and now he misses me and realizes that I wasn't so out of line to ask certain things from him.  I made a comment about how he is still young and needs to get it out of his system but he retaliated with, "I know I'm young but it doesn't mean I don't love you and realize what I want."  Which, is probably half true.  I know what everyone is thinking- DON'T DO IT!  ...I thought it, too.  Don't fall for it.  Don't go back so easily.  Don't let him manipulate you. 

I know, I know, I know.  The thing is- although I am defensive about it and want to disprove anyone who says he just doesn't want to be alone now, I know Chris well enough to know when he is being sincere or just being selfish.  He told me he didn't want me to come home if I didn't want to, or if I didn't think it would work.  He said he wasn't going to ask me to move back, just to think about it.  And he was okay when I told him that maybe after the holidays, we could talk about it. 

Then, came this whole thing with Alisha and M.  Since Chris is really the only person I have had close to me in a long time, I told him about the situation and he immediately said, "Then bring her down here with you.  She can stay here."  He doesn't want me living in this situation, and he thinks that it would be a good idea to get her out of here.  I really couldn't believe he was saying anything of the sort since we both agreed we would not have another roommate again, after his brother.  He was sincere about it, though.

Alisha has decided not to leave.  She told me today she thought about it all night and also most of the day, but she feels she cannot abandon M when he needs her most, even though it puts her in dangerous situations.  It both irritates and frustrates me to no end, but I see her side of it.  This is a man she promised to love forever, through thick and thin, through good and bad times.  I suppose she thinks she owes it to him to take care of him and help him as much as she can.  After the very dramatic night last night, he called her every five minutes today, though, and was very clingy.  I know these signs- he knows he screwed up and wants to make sure she isn't going to leave him.  We were with her mom at the hockey game, and she even said that he can't do anything without her and she has to be home every minute with him or else he flips out.  All in all, it is a very unhealthy relationship in my eyes.  It is not my place to tell her what to do, though, and if she wants to stay, that is her choice.

We both have a lot on our plates right now, and it's been emotionally tiring.  I feel like a million pounds of bricks were dropped on me in the last 24 hours and it is only going to get worse before it gets better.  Should I go back to Chris?  Will she leave M?  Are we going to put number one first? 

All questions that will have to be answered, and better sooner than later.

Being The Savior, Not The Saved

As many of you know, I have recently made the trip to Colorado to get away from Phoenix and start again.  This was a good idea when it first came up, since my situation there was terrible.  My ex Chris decided to leave me with no notice because he decided he wanted to hang out with bad influences and party to his life's content, instead of answering to a worried girlfriend at home.  This broke my heart completely but a friend decided to try to help me out the best she could, because she knows how bad it is to be in a situation such as the one I was in. 

I made the 22 hour journey to Denver, CO, where I was met with cold weather and clouds in the sky, neither of which is very frequent in Phoenix.  She dropped me and my stuff off, I promptly took a long ass nap (it is very hard to sleep on those terrible buses!), and then, set out to look for jobs.  My first night here was good.  I got to hang out with her for the first time in four years, I met her husband, and she showed me around town a bit.  Not much to it, honestly.  Greeley is pretty small, easy to navigate, and the people are pretty friendly.  I was sure it would be a great place for me to be.

Unfortunately, the problem isn't the town.  The problem lies within the walls of the apartment I have moved into.  My friend, Alisha, had mentioned to me several times how she was alone a lot and her husband is kind of whacky and they're having some problems within their marriage.  He told her it would be nice for her to have a friend down here and he didn't mind me staying here.  I took that as, he's a nice guy and cares for his wife.  I've met the guy once.  We'll call him, M.  The first time I met M was when I was working in a convenience store and they happened to be visiting Michigan.  This was back in 2007.  He was very quiet, didn't shake my hand, and just nodded at me, even though I was acting ecstatic to finally meet my best friend's husband.  Even after just one meeting, I knew I didn't like him.  Call me judgemental, but I didn't.  So when I arrived here, I already had my first impression in my head, and you know how hard it is to change that once it's there.  M didn't even say hi to me when we picked him up from his job.  He was completely quiet and said hardly three words to me.  The rest of the weekend was much the same- except I got to experience him while he is, in one word, wasted.

I used to think that when I got drunk I could get out of hand at times, and definitely step out of line.  Compared to him, though, I am a saint.  As soon as Friday night hit, it was nonstop fighting.  About nothing.  Then, I got to see why Alisha is having such a hard time with him.  M is violent.  Not necessarily towards her, but towards the apartment, their dog, his things.  I'm not exaggerating when I tell you this: he is nuts.  I tried to tell myself that he was just drunk, but now, I know better.

M is a retired Marine.  He has PTD (post-traumatic disorder) and has nightmares and rages he cannot control.  He is also a person that refuses to get help.  For the past two years Alisha has dealt with his anger and bouts of depression.  He wakes up in the middle of the night thrashing around, then wakes up sobbing because he can't save one of his friends.  It is quite sad when you think about it.  He risked his life to fight in a war that he doesn't believe in, and now he is suffering for it.  However, instead of trying to get help, he is making his wife suffer as well.

He runs into doors on purpose.  The door to my bedroom has two holes in it.  There is a poster on my wall that covers a giant hole.  The bathroom door doesn't shut properly because he rammed his head into it.  There are giant white plaster marks all over the living room from where he has thrown various objects and himself into the walls.  The closet doors in their room and the pantry are completely ruined because he has decided to run into them.  Their dog, a 130 pound bull mastif, is completely terrified of him because M has thrown him around and also choked him.  Alisha finally admitted the reason she is wearing a foot immobilizer is because he threw her across the living room and bones in her foot with dislocated.  She may need surgery to correct it if this shoe she is wearing now doesn't fix it.

She has lied to her doctor and her family about the situation.  She lied to me, and has brought me into the situation.  I cannot pretend to even like this guy because I know what is going on.  He got in my face tonight and started questioning me.  Thankfully, I am able to look people right in the eye when I talk to them and not show fear.  He asked some questions and I had quick smart ass answers, and he said he liked that, but then later he stated, "You don't like me, I know it."  What was I supposed to say?  I replied with, "I don't even know you well enough yet to know whether I do or not."  And just shrugged.

I guess this is not my business.  But I will not live here, in the midst of all of this and just keep my mouth shut.  When he gets physical, I will not hide in my room until it stops.  I will be calling the police, something she refuses to do because he will get in deep trouble, due to the fact that he is a Marine.  I guess he would actually go to prison for it because, as she put it, he is a "trained and dangerous weapon of the military."  I suppose that would cause a problem.

I do not know how to save this girl.  It is not even my responsibility, but I sat her down tonight and told her, "I won't live here while this happens.  I cannot watch this and not do anything.  It is your choice to stay, but I will be leaving as soon as I can."  I wasn't trying to be ungrateful by any means, and she understood that.  I'm guessing she didn't realize how bad it is because she started crying and confessed she didn't even think this was a bad night for him.  I couldn't believe that.  This was after the dog came into my room, scared, and laid beside me on the bed for a while.  I knew they were fighting, but I didn't realize it was because he had done something to the dog.  M walked by the room and saw the dog in here, and then grabbed the door handle, and repeatedly slammed the door several times very hard, scaring the dog even more.  I couldn't believe it.  He did it in front of me, in the room that I am staying in!  That's when I told her how I felt.

She said she doesn't see it like everyone else because she lives inside the box.  Everyone else can see better because they are outside.  I don't know if that's how I would explain it.  I would probably say, she has her head in the sand and is afraid to pull it out and face the truth.  This guy is abusive and could possibly severely hurt her- or worse, kill her. 

After a very long talk and cry (her, not me), she decided that she wants to leave.  There's a whole other part to the story, but I'll save it for later.  I'm just wondering what other people would do in this situation.  Stick by their friend through it, or pull out and leave it to them?  I can't see myself abandoning her, but I don't want to be in the middle of this, where I could put myself in danger.  I know a lot of people that have kept their nose out of bad situations because they didn't want to be involved, but later learned had they said something, the turn out would have been different.

And I thought life in Phoenix was tough...

Conversion

The last few days have been rough on me.  It is sad to sleep alone in a big bed, it brings me down to watch my friend and her husband together, I am sad to have no one to kiss.  This has hit me a lot harder than I thought it would.  I figured that I would be a little bit sad, but so distracted by my new surroundings that I wouldn't have much time to think about how badly my heart hurts.  It turns out I was wrong.

Every time I log onto Facebook, one of my friends is engaged, planning a wedding, or having kids- maybe all three in a week.  This makes it worse, as I feel like I'm the last of the single ones.  I know that a lot of women my age prefer to be single, and at times when I was with Chris I sort of wished I was, but I definitely don't prefer it.  I dislike not having anyone to wind down with at the end of the day, I miss making dinner for someone I love, and I definitely am not fond of sleeping alone.  I realize that although I was not in a good position back in Phoenix with Chris, at least I had a partner. 

On Friday night we texted most of the night. I was drinking with Alisha and her husband and brother, and Chris told me that if I feel like I'm not going to make it here that I should come back because he loves me and doesn't want me to feel like I'm not loved.  He just needs time to himself.  I'm not saying that I am going back, I'm just pointing out that he does love me and doesn't like to see me hurt.  I know this much.  He's never been a fan of fighting and the last month and a half has been the worst in our relationship.  Every time before this that we argued, it ended with us making up and him telling me that just because we fight it doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with me, or that he loves me any less. 

I told him that I'm not going back to a city where I don't have friends.  Where every person we hang out with isn't interested in friendship, but just getting drunk or high.  Mind you, I don't do drugs.  But, he is known to smoke a little bit, and so do all his friends.  That's the only thing most of them have in common.  I told him that I don't think any of his friends are true friends, because if he stopped smoking, none of them would come around anymore.  And if he needed help doing something, they would have some excuse as to why they can't help.  He doesn't believe that, and it is sad.  He thinks these people that come over just to get "messed up" are his real friends and that he can depend on them.  What about the months that they disappeared off the radar because they had better things to do and found new friends to go and hang out with? 

It makes me sick and sad.  I told him last night that I see where his loyalty is, and it is not with me, and that I will not be texting nor calling him anymore.  I will leave it up to him.  I don't wish to speak to him when he is constantly distracted or doing something more exciting than talking to me.  He told me that he wants to talk to me and that he likes talking to me, but I suppose if that were true, he would make more of an effort to make the first contact.  He texted me yesterday morning to say good morning, but that was it.  The rest of the time I had to initiate the conversation or else I didn't hear from him.

I don't know how long this is going to take for me to get over.  The more I think about how much I want to just forget about him the more I realize that I did love him more than I thought.  I never realized how much I cared about him, or how much he meant to me until I no longer had him.  And it isn't even as if I ever abandoned him or didn't give him enough attention.  I guess I just never took time to appreciate him fully when he was there for me.

Tomorrow I am job hunting again.  I am not sure how that will go, as the more I see of Greeley the more I realize there is really nothing here.  It would be a different story if I had a vehicle, but depending on someone to get me to work and pick me up isn't what I wanted to do.  Alisha thought the bus system here ran everywhere, but it doesn't even come close to her apartment, so I'd have to walk about a mile and a half to get to the first stop.  And let's face it- I'm not walking that far once winter really hits.  It is already 40 degrees at night and I can barely handle it.  I'm ashamed to admit it but I have officially been converted to a Phoenician and I dislike the cold more than I ever have, and have a low tolerance for it.  I guess we'll see what happens.

In The Rockies

Well, not technically...in the valley of the Rockies, is more like it.

I will never, ever, EVER again in my life take a Greyhound bus.  I'm telling you what, the 22 hours I spent on two different buses was enough to tell me that even if I don't like flying that much, it is the way better option.  Totally.  It was loud, people were rude, it smelled funny, and at night, it was impossible to sleep.  That could have been just because the second bus was the oldest Greyhound I'd ever seen.  It still doesn't explain why they felt the need to keep a bus that vibrates so badly that when you lay your head back, your teeth chatter.

I arrived this morning at 6 AM, after an exhausting night of hardly any sleep and also, no sleep the night before.  I caught a few hours of sleep from Phoenix to Albuquerque but not much, due to the cramped space.  I am a person who likes to spread out, and it wasn't possible because I had a seat mate, and he was holding a 6 month old for quite a bit of that time.  He was really nice, though, and so was his wife.  She was reading Twilight, which was odd because I was reading New Moon.  :)  I made friends, yay!  But, we never exchanged names.  I know, 7 hours on a bus with two people and we never told our names.  Oh well.

First thing I did when I stepped off the bus in Denver was sneeze my brains out.  I'm not sure why this is, but it was like insta-flu.  Then I remembered that my friend here, Alisha, also has a cat.  Cats and I don't get along.  They practically kill me.  She said that her cat is mostly an outdoor cat, but their dander gets on everything no matter how much they're inside.  Right now I'm not sure if it's because I'm over tired and stressed that I'm sick, or if it's the cat.  I suppose I'll find out tomorrow morning when I wake up.  If I have snot running down my face I'll know it's the cat; if I don't, it was just because my immune system was slacking.

So anywho, I will be job hunting tomorrow and also going through an online orientation for college.  Yep, I'm enrolling in school again.  I'm going into psychology for an Associate's Degree.  I think it will help with my writing career, and plus, I'll be able to get a decent job (not great paying or anything) being a counselor or what not once I finish it.  I've always been interested in the way minds work, anyway, so I think it will be fun no matter what.  It'll be way better than the business management degree I was studying for.  Hardly any math!  WOO HOO!

Now that I have access to my laptop and my computer, though, I'll have oh-so-much more time to read everyone's blogs again!  YAY!  I'm actually excited because I've missed laying in bed at night catching up with everyone.  :)  I'm not starting tonight though, as I'm so completely drained of energy I just drooled on the keyboard. 

I'm officially a resident of Colorado. 

A palm tree. Something I won't see once I leave the desert behind. Instead, I'll be up to my neck in snow. Hello, soggy socks!

Dag Nabbit

Okay, okay, I'm STILL NOT IN COLORADO!  >:(  GRRR!  But it seems like things keep holding me back here for  reason, because I got a lot accomplished in the weeks that I've been waiting.  But it is definitely happening Wednesday, because I got my ticket. 

Basically, the last week has flown by.  It hasn't been a hard week or anything, either.  I'm glad for that.  Chris and I have been getting along well still and he even took me to the fair on Halloween.  It was pretty fun.  Our friend came along with us, then we drank some later that night and watched scary movies.  Basically the plan is going completely astray from what was originally decided.  My friend was supposed to be driving down here, stay a weekend, then we were driving back.  Instead, I'm taking a Greyhound there, then coming back Thanksgiving weekend with her to pick up the rest of my crap, staying the weekend, and then driving back to Colorado.  I know, confusing and a lot of driving.  However, I'd rather do it this way than spend another two weeks waiting for her to get time off again.  Plus...Chris actually told me he would like it if I came here for Thanksgiving.  I know, I know.  Bad idea.  I'm just hoping we stay on good terms and can be friends.

I apologize again for not keeping up with everyone.  It's hard to do so due to the lack of internet access.  It makes me feel guilty because I know a lot of you read and comment every time I blog but never get one in return.  Rest assured, I will be back to normal scheduling soon.  Hopefully.  I actually got a promising job offer (nanny position) so I'm crossing my fingers that will work out when I get there.

In other news- I just read Stephanie's blog and SHE FOUND AN AGENT!  How fricken awesome is that?!?!  I'm jealous as hell, but she deserves it so much!  I'm excited for her.  :)  So if you get a chance, swing by her blog and tell her congrats!

Cooper and Beauty will be living with Chris for the next couple weeks, and when I come back they will make the 13 hour journey back with us.  I'm hoping they take it okay.  They will basically be locked in my bedroom though, because my friend has a dog and I'm not sure how that would work out.  I'm going to be investing in a dog pen and tossing their cage as well, so they won't be locked in all the time.  I feel terrible having to take them away from this environment, but there's not much else I can do. 

So, that's my update for now.  I will try to get back to reading all of my subscriptions soon.  Seems like I would have a lot of time on my hands when I'm not working, but I've been busy as hell.  Stay with me and I promise you'll enjoy my coming blogs- I'm sure my adventures in a small Colorado town are going to be worth the wait!