Oh, My Life Is So Tragic!

I have a friend.  (Boy, a lot of my posts start out like that, huh?)  My friend S is 27, and she thinks her life is awful.  I know I'm not very far into this blog, but already I feel like I have to insert something bad that happened today. 

I was watching Gossip Girl (Lord, forgive me), and I heard this consistent drip, drip, drip for about five minutes, and couldn't figure out where it was coming from.  Then it dawned on me: it's raining outside, and we have a leak.  Found the leak- right over top of a couple computer monitors we have acquired (Chris is an electronic hoarder, I swear).  I was so mad.  I couldn't believe it.  We live on the bottom floor of our building, so where a leak is coming from, Lord only knows, but yes, we have a leak.  Go figure maintenance can only fix it once it's dry, and for the first time since before summer, Phoenix has a week of rain ahead of us.  NICE!

So, I have this friend, and she constantly says how crappy her life is.  This all started because her boyfriend of ten years broke up with her earlier this year in April, and they have agreed it is over for good this time.  He is addicted to meth and heroin, and she made the decision that he is not worth the pain and suffering he caused her for five of the years they were together.

This is a terrible thing to happen to someone.  I can't imagine being with someone that long, only to have to leave him because he has a drug problem, and not because I don't love him anymore.  It has to be hard on her.  In fact, I know it is hard on her, because she never fails to let me know that every time we hang out, which has sadly not been often for a while now, because I just don't have the patience to sit through another two hour conversation about how shitty her life is.  I feel like I'm being a bad friend when I discuss these things, but tonight was a revelation of sorts, and I no longer feel bad.

S's best friend is D.  They have been best friends since they were in middle school.  That's a pretty long stretch to be friends for, especially for women.  They have shared a lot of memories, good and bad.  D has hung out with us a few times, this past weekend being the most recent.  Chris and I joined S and D for drinks at our friend Scott's house, and usually we have a lot of fun.  I was just not up for it.  You see, S was in a wedding on Saturday, so she had a lot to say.  I basically kept my mouth shut the entire time, just because I knew there would be no point in trying to speak. 

She constantly interrupts everyone.  For every bad thing that has happened to someone, she has two even more terrible stories that happened to her.  Even though I have no food in the fridge and am basically living like a hermit because I am so poor and refuse to get out of PJs unless I have to, only to save on laundry detergent, her life is way worse.  S lives with her parents.  She doesn't pay rent, and never has.  She pays for her car and that is it.  She spends money like it's growing on trees.  Usually when she comes over she has a bag of leftovers from whatever restaurant she ate at.  She is rarely home.  When Scott and S started dating, her mom became worried because S seemed to be getting overly attached quickly.

S, her mom, and Scott all work together in the same office.  Her mom got a little too involved out of worry and told Scott he better not break her heart.  We all knew that S was becoming attached and falling for him, but he made it clear that he is moving to Seattle in spring, and he is going alone.  He is a really nice guy, but he knows S is in no state to be getting in a relationship.  I guess he finally had had enough with her mom badgering him at work, and he called off their casual dating completely.  S was devastated.  She came over to hang out (after nearly two months of seing her twice), and immediately started crying.  Not over Scott- but over the ex-boyfriend. 

Her other complaint has been about her friend Courtney getting married, and involving a girl that had cheated with her ex, or something, like six years ago.  I guess S hates this girl, and Courtney knows this, yet still invited her to her wedding.  Courtney is still friends with her, but S can't understand why she would want to be friends with someone that hurt her so badly.  She doesn't get it.  I've had this happen to me before, so I understand where she is coming from.  But it was six years ago, and eventually, you have to move on.  It seemed unreasonable for her to try to make her friend's wedding all about herself.  She is constantly repeating herself about how good of a friend she is to everyone, but everyone treats her like shit and takes advantage of her.  ...Notice how I mentioned above she always interrupts people and disappears off the radar for months at a time.

Other than her heartbreak, she seems to have a pretty good life.  She makes good money at work, she drives a nice car, she has a supportive and loving family (I used to spend every Saturday with them all because Chris playing softball on a league with them), and she has really great friends, D being one of them.  Except, D doesn't feel that way anymore, even after 15 years of friendship.  She opened up to me tonight via Facebook.  She asked what I was up to, and I told her, "Nada, just at home alone.  Chris went with S over to Scott's house."  I guess it was the wrong thing to say.  S apparently told D that she didn't feel like doing anything so she was just going home- then picked Chris up from work and then went to Scott's.  D was pissed.  I didn't know I wasn't supposed to say anything, so of course I didn't feel bad.  But then I got to hear D's side of how S has been acting, and I just felt like calling up S and giving her a piece of my mind right then and there.  D is really hurt, and told me how she feels like she is only friends with S when it is convenient for S.  And that is exactly how it is.  S started hanging out with Scott again right after I got back from Colorado, and she has been over once.  She hasn't been in our new apartment at all, and actually used the excuse that she didn't know where it was- it is, honestly, right across from our old apartment, in the same complex, no joke.  So, I know exactly what D means, and I feel terrible for her. 

How can a person rant and rave repeatedly about how shitty their life is, how crappy their friends are, yet, feel no grief about lying to a friend?  S is a nice person.  She is very giving when she wants to be.  She isn't a good listener at all, though.  I know her whole life story.  I could tell it right now.  But I bet she doesn't even remember my last name, no joke.  She was actually complaining about how she didn't want to spend Thanksgiving in Snowflake (which is up north, I guess) because her mom was going there.  I wanted to strangle her, because I would kill to spend Thanksgiving with my mom, even though she is nuts.  Probably moreso than hers.  How can she constantly complain about how awful she has it, yet act so ungrateful for what she does have?  At 27, I figure it's normal nowadays to have a fall back and crash with the parents.  I figure everyone has it hard, once in a while, and needs a little help.  But apparently, this has been an ongoing thing her whole life, and she expects thing to be handed to her, or at least come easily.  It sort of makes me nauseous.

'Tis the season.  I may end all of my posts like that until after New Year's.  I must say, though- I have enjoyed my Christmas classics movies, my Christmas music, and the Christmas lights and decorations on the houses down the street.  The few simple things I love about the holidays are mine, at least.  Now if only I could teach a lesson to the ungrateful people I know.