Dear Juj 2003,

It has been a long six and a half years.  Feels like you (we) were walking down the aisle to graduate just yesterday.  You had a skip in your (black Chuck Taylor) step that fine day, shine to the (pink) streaks in your hair, and an attitude that matched that (hideous) bright sunshiny-yellow gown.  Today, I tell you, nothing has changed- you (we) still wear black Chucks, still have pink in your (our) hair, and sometimes, your attitude still matches that gown that made your (our) skin look so disgustingly gaunt and sallow.  However, I'm here to tell you (us): shit has changed, my friend.  But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy life.

What exactly do I mean?  Well, let me get you up-to-date on what you are about to do with your life.  First off, you will get a job.  That's right.  The second job you will have in your life.  It will be at Famous Footwear, and you will hate it.  You work with your brother's ex-girlfriend, and you guys become BEST friends- inseparable, because, you both get dumped by little boys that share the same name.  It's unfortunate, but the shared experience makes you both stronger and closer, and carries you through several years of bull crap you still won't get six and a half years later.  You will end up tipping Mom's mini van into a ditch, on accident, while trying to tail said dumper, and it is just the start to the bad luck you have with vehicles (feel free to look up the blog you will later right about how cars seem to hate you) and guys.

You lose your job over that accident, and it sets a trend.  You will have a streak of jobs that last only six months because of vehicle-related problems, and it makes finding a good job hard, and your life is HELL while searching for one.  If I could tell you to not move into that house with your soon-to-be fiance, I would- but I won't.  You learn a valuable lesson in it that takes you to who you are now- a wannabe writer, working part-time in another retail store, wishing you could be someone else but always held back by the people surrounding you.  Sounds pretty pathetic, doesn't it?  It is, but you don't mind it.  Much.  After all, you have your kids and boyfriend to take care of, and you no longer have to worry about bad luck with vehicles because you don't have one, and you can't afford one.  Makes life much simpler, don't you think?

I would warn you not to put your foot up on the toilet somewhere around mid-September 2004, but I won't do that, either.  I will make for a good first house horror story later, when your friends are complaining about how terrible their living quarters are.  After all, you did sink an entire toilet into the floor while painting your toenails and talking on the phone.  Oops, I spilled the beans.

You get dumped again, by that same boyfriend, twice in 2004.  For once it's not because he cheated with a younger girl.  It still kills you, though, and leads you to make a decision that could compromise your future relationships- but you make the right choice.  You stay with said boyfriend, and you move into your second place together on New Year's Day, 2005, and you also lose your puppy in an accident.  You celebrate/mourn by decorating the place with white Christmas lights, while in the nude and watching Austin Powers: Goldmember.

2005 is a rough year, but you make it through it.  I will tell you this, though: be patient, and do not give in.  Also, on Superbowl Sunday, try not to eat that turkey so fast.  It's so dry you'll probably end up choking on it and then consume several Jell-O shots afterwards to get it down, therefore rendering you powerless to a dare that involves streaking through the complex parking lot.  On second thought, go ahead and do that.  The look on your neighbors' faces was priceless, not to mention the great story it, too, will make later at parties that become mundane.  The bad part is the boyfriend will try to match your daringness and strip down to nothing but black socks and run around the apartment; the image still haunts you (me) to this day.

Many more important things happen that year, but they happen for a reason, so let them.  Do not try to stop anything or anyone in your path, because I, your future self, have gained much from it, even though it felt like sliding down a ramp of a thousand razors only to land in a pool of rubbing alcohol.  Hope that doesn't scare you.  You do buy your very first car on your own though, and start to stand up for yourself.  Cheers, because your backbone never goes away after that.  You even manage to get into a bar fight years later with an old boss that took advantage of you.  Don't worry, no legal action is taken.

2006-2007 are years that will be filled with the most fun a single girl can have.  You meet and reunite with many great people, learn to let go of past friends and relationships, and learn that your first kiss is the best friend you will ever have- after he screws you over several hundred times.  And finally- FINALLY- you move away from Michigan, only after said great people also screw you over, several hundred times, and take you for everything that you are worth.

Unfortunately, that lands you where I am now.  I won't say why I use the word unfortunately.  There is nothing particularly terrible about where you are- except the heat, the stank city, a bus system, and a high cost of living- however, it seems you finally learn to appreciate all that you have been through.  You will just look back, and realize, "Wow, I've lead one hell of an interesting and outrageous yet terribly dramatic and heartbreaking post-graduation life so far."  It's been a rough and adventurous ride.  I guess the unfortunate part is that now, you are not even a quarter of a century old yet you feel 55 and sometimes the face in the mirror looks it, too.  You believe your happily ever ever is still there, though, and that is a GREAT thing.

Just remember:
If you step on a pile of rabbit poop, think about the furry butts that left it, and how cute they are when they give you attention and love.
If your boyfriend leaves his grungy undies in the hallway, he supports you and loves you for who you are.
When your mom starts talking about how great your brothers are but never mentions how great you are, you can always push the 'end' button and you don't have to listen.
The ex is just that- the ex.  Leave it at that.
And last, but definitely not the least, try not to take anything for granted.  I know you will, because I am you, and I know what you have done to make you me, and although that is confusing as all hell, I know that you (we) are a better being in the long run for having tried your (our) best and not giving up.